Space clearing to give a new relationship the best start

An important time to do space clearing is when you start a new relationship you are serious about and you want to give it the best possible chance of success.

New relationship

New relationship, new home

It’s always best to live together in a home that neither person has ever lived in before, so that each partner has the same degree of ownership of the space. Space clearing will remove the stagnant energies and imprints of the previous occupants so that you can create a fresh new arena in which your new relationship can flourish.

The steps of the space clearing ceremony are described in detail in Creating Sacred Space with Feng Shui, and the best way to prepare for it is for you both to put some focus on the qualities of your relationship that you value the most. When you come to the harmony ball circuit near the end of the ceremony, use it to deeply embed those qualities into your new home.

New relationship, old home

However desirable it may be to start a new relationship in a new home, practicalities can often mean that it is not possible to do this for a while, or sometimes not possible to do this at all. In this situation, space clearing is even more essential to clear out the history of the partner who lived there first, and the most important parts of the ceremony to focus on are clapping and belling.

Clapping breaks up the lumps of stagnant energy that accumulate in corners, and belling penetrates deep into the walls, furniture and other objects in the place, shattering the layers of imprints that will have built up there. I’m not talking here about just any kind of clapping and belling. The techniques are very specific – a circuit of sharp, crisp clapping, beginning and ending at the main entrance, followed by a circuit using a high quality Balinese bell (they are the only bells I have ever found that are capable of shattering imprints effectively). And of course the preparatory steps to the ceremony have to be performed first for these circuits to be effective. Short cuts do not work. Each circuit is designed to build upon the foundations of the previous one.

It’s ideal for the space clearing to be done by the partner who is moving in, not the one who has lived there for a while, because their energy will already be embedded in the place. I’m not claiming that this will magically make your current home the perfect place for you both to live in forever. Space clearing can’t change the visual and territorial associations of the partner who lived there first. But it can remove the energetic imprints and balance the situation out much more, so it’s well worth doing.

New relationship, old home that one partner previously lived in with someone who is now their ex

The worst-case scenario is starting a new relationship in a home that one of the partners previously shared with an ex. The longer they lived there together, the more heavily imprinted their relationship will be in the place and the more likely it will be that the new relationship will go the same way as the old one. History will tend to repeat itself.

Using the hand sensing technique I have developed over many years on the walls and furniture of such a home, it is very easy to tell which rooms the ex spent the most time in, which chairs they sat in, which objects they used the most, and so on. Mattresses are generally the most heavily imprinted. For the new partner moving in, it can feel like there is no room for them until the imprints of the previous partner have been cleared out.

A new mattress is a must, and a deep and thorough space clearing as soon as possible. Again, it will not magically transform the home into the ideal place for you both to live together forever, but it will certainly help things along until you can move to a place where neither of you have lived before.

Copyright © Clear Space Living Ltd 2015, updated 2021

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About Karen Kingston

Karen Kingston is the world's leading authority on space clearing and a leading expert in clutter clearing. Her first book, Creating Sacred Space with Feng Shui, has sold over one million copies in 16 languages, and her second book, Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui, has sold over two million copies in 26 languages.

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