A year ago my niece lost her 21-year old son in a tragic car accident. My husband and I went to the site with her until they took his body.

For weeks now, I felt like I should go to the scene of the accident and do something at the time of the anniversary of his death. Then I read today in Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui that in Bali they ceremoniously purify the spot. Can you give me some pointers? I appreciate any help you could give me. Thanks,

-S.F., USA

Karen's reply:

The Balinese technique described in my book is used to call a person's spirit back to themselves after it has been jolted out by a trauma or accident. A completely different ritual is used in the event of death, and it is too intertwined with the Balinese Hindu religion to be applicable to a similar situation in the West.

The closest equivalent would be the practice we have of laying flowers on the spot in the days and weeks following an accident. Returning there on the anniversary of a person's death to lay flowers can really help to soothe the waves of grief that usually surfaces at this time but would not actually have any value at this stage in assisting the transition of the person who died.

The best book I have ever read on the topic of death and helping people through the process of grieving is a 'Knowledge Track' entitled Death: The Great Journey by Dr. Samuel Sagan, available online from www.clairvision.org. It's self-published so costs more than a mass-market publication but I wholeheartedly recommend it to you. If you were to ask me to compile a Top Ten of the most important books for a human being to read in their lifetime, this would be No. 1.

I also very much recommend that your neice space clears her home or calls in a professional Space Clearing practitioner to help her do this. The ceremony is described in my book, Creating Sacred Space with Feng Shui, and is designed to leave all the joyful frequencies in a space intact while clearing out lower frequencies of sadness, grief, anger, etc. It will help her to move on and create her life anew.