Clutter Clearing

When you first start clutter clearing it can feel like a chore, but the more of it you do, the more you experience what I call the E-Factor. ‘E’ in this case stands for Exhilaration – the joyful feeling of accomplishment when you finish the job.

Actually you can experience the E-factor any time you decide to do something and do it. This morning, as an example, I set myself the goal of taking an early morning walk to a certain place, further than I usually go. I got tired before I got there and nearly convinced myself to leave it at that and go home. But instead I ignored the dialogue in my head and just kept walking until I got there. A small goal, you may say, and seemingly unimportant, but the level of exhilaration in my body as I walked back was completely out of proportion to the achievement. I felt fantastic, and the feeling has lasted throughout the day.

It’s exactly the same with clutter clearing. You decide to clear a small drawer, do it, and the feeling of exhilaration that follows is almost heady. All kinds of energy blockages are released in your body, all the failures of previous attempts at clutter clearing are overwritten, and you feel unstoppable. Enjoy!

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I'm visiting Singapore for a week to do some film editing, and have also been spending time with the Space Clearing practitioners who live here. For those of you who haven't made this discovery, here's a great way of organizing things in a small space that one of them showed me in their kitchen. It's called a Lazy Susan. I have one in Bali at the centre of my dining table, and hear they are pretty easy to find these days to put in cupboards too. You may have seen them in Chinese restaurants. They rotate so you don't have to pull everything out to get to what's at the back.

If you're a handy kind of person, you can even build one yourself. 

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The things we keep around us reflect exactly who we are.

One of the quickest ways to get a fresh perspective on yourself is to take a good long look at everything in your home as if you didn't know the person who lives there.

What would you conclude about the person?
And are they the kind of person you want to be like?

It then becomes pretty obvious what you want to keep and what needs to go.

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OK, this is positively the last posting on this topic, but this is just too whacky to pass up.

Someone sent me a link to a website run by a company that offers teddy bear vacations. You can send your beloved bear to them for a week and they will take it bungee jumping, paragliding, fishing, golfing, or just on a sightseeing tour of the local town. Then they send it back to you with the photographs to prove it. All this for just $140 - $210 (€99 - €149) - in other words, probably ten times what you paid for the bear in the first place.

Can people really be so gullible, I wonder? Just for fun, many years ago, I once did a photoshoot of a teddy bear of my own relaxing in style on my lounge sofa, but sending a bear on vacation as if it were a sentient being that knows the difference between being at Paris or being at home is more than a touch out of touch with reality.

In case you're tempted to treat your own bear to such an experience, I am not going to post a link to the company's website here! 

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Here's the last batch of the best suggestions from my mailbox. Thanks to everyone who took the time to  put their thoughts and ideas into writing. 

We can't clutter our forests with teddy bears. That could start a trend that could lead to something really ugly. If needed, take a picture with your bear, say your good-byes and let him go. It is not possible that he could ever leave your heart. - Anne

In 'The Velveteen Rabbit' by Marjory Williams, the Skin Horse, a venerable old toy who had been loved to worn outness, tells the Velveteen Rabbit about becoming real, that it happens when someone (a child) really loves you. When your bear has become real, he or she is part of you. If it is time to let the well loved and well worn physical form of the bear go, plant a beautiful tree over your bear in a place you know will make you happy and will bring happiness to many others. Maybe there are children who can help you with this ritual. - Sue

Maybe hold a 'funeral' and bury your teddy bear? Alternatively, animal shelters and veterinarian clinics are always looking for animal-safe toys (as well as old sheets, towels, and linens... another good way to get rid of things too old and ratty for charities to accept). Perhaps you could take some photos of it to remember it by, then donate it to an animal shelter as a companion for one of the animals? - Melissa

There are many crafts people who may wish to use old teddy bears and toys to reclaim the materials used. The materials can be taken apart and used in a new bear or toy: eg fabric, eye buttons, etc. Some of these old teddy bears have very valuable parts to them that are difficult to find now. At least you may be comforted by the idea that your teddy bear is being created anew - and your fond memories are going with it. Advertising your bear's parts on sites such as the Freecycle (non-profit global recycling) site may be the way to go. - Jennifer

Getting rid of a well-loved teddy bear (no matter how much one feels one has moved on) is like getting rid of part of one's soul. OK, they're cloth and stuffing with beady glass or shoebutton eyes, but like many of the comments I've read, they have the imprint of love someone has put there. I mean, you and that bear have a history together, much like a person and their dog or cat (which you wouldn't euthanize and bury unless it was suffering). How much space can ONE bear take up? Get rid of something else you don't need, such as that kitschy plastic statue Aunt Clara sent you from San Francisco. I still have my first teddy bear from 48 years ago, plus the one my mother gave me the year she passed away, and a tiny beanie my fiance and I bought together (we take her everywhere). Three bears, two grown-ups. - Diane

I think the burial would be the best way. Do a little ceremony and let go. Dust to dust. An acknowledgment, in ritual, for a best friend. - Fenella

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Donate them! I work in a restaurant. We have a section for kids toys and games. I put my own old toys and stuffed animals there. You cannot imagine how much joy it gives me to see children playing with the very same stuffed animals that I loved. - Erin

Do inanimate objects care if you get rid of them?  No, they don't!  Thank the Universe for the use of the Teddy Bear, and then throw it out.  Perform a ceremony if necessary. Be grateful that you are now an adult with better ways to comfort yourself.  Free yourself from the childhood object as you free yourself from the childish ways. - Kathi

I felt for the lady with the teddy bear. I have in the past had that same issue, and I just kept the item (for years) until I was able to look at it and say, "I don't feel the same way about it any longer. Then it felt good to let it go. - Anne

Although it was a sad day, I felt SO good when I said goodbye to my bear collection - 25 of them - knowing they would be welcomed into someone else's home. I took photos of them before I packed them up. - Collete

Some ideas... For collectors, some of the most prized bears look well worn, well loved - check out the books of collectible bears at your local bookstore or library. Photos of well worn bears are also wonderful as greeting cards - photograph your bear and use the photos. An antique toy store might want your bear to be part of a window display. Check Craigslist, Google, etc. for photographers, collectors, or bear makers.  There are clubs for all of these. - Evelyn

 
Many thanks to Machiko, who wrote to tell me about the fascinating practice of Ningyo Kuyo in a Japan. She says, "I read your article on clearing Teddy Bears with great interest.  I am not sure if my tip will help people living outside of Japan, but a lot of temples hold ceremonies there to thank and part with worn-out dolls and teddy bears."

She says this is a ceremony offered at many Buddhist temples and Shinto shrines. People bring (or in some cases, mail) dolls and teddy bears they no longer use, and for a small fee (around ¥ 3,000-5,000) a ceremony is performed.

In Buddhist temples the ceremony consists of a sutra being recited for the dolls or bears, followed by a ritual purification called Otakiage (burning in fire). In the Shinto tradition, the ceremony begins with Mitama Nuki to remove the Mitama (soul or spirit) from the dolls or bears, then there is then a prayer for the owners, and finally there is an Otakiage purification with fire.

Machiko says, "I have not been able to find the origin for this specific practice, but the practice of holding a ceremony or building a monument for everyday objects such as sewing needles and pens/ink brushes to thank them for their services has been historically done (it may have originally come from China), so I believe that it is natural for the Japanese people to hold such ceremonies also for dolls." She says similar ceremonies are also done for letters that for some reason could not reach their intended recipients.

More information I've found about Ningyo Kuyo:
http://www.tricycle.com/blog/jeff_wilson/3554-1.html

Photos of ceremonies:
http://www.geocities.jp/kiyomizudo/ningyo2.html
http://ningyou.org/article/26754730.html

Machiko says, "In my case, when I cleared my old teddy bears I simply thanked them and took them out as regular trash.  It was my simplified version of the ceremony, and I believe that it is more environmentally friendly. Although many of your readers may not have the chance to use the services offered in Japan, I believe that certain forms of ceremony, such as offering flowers, incense, food you used to enjoy with teddy bears as a child, and thank-you cards (the cards may go with the teddy bears or stay with you), may help them with clutter clearing teddy bears."

Emails about teddies are still arriving in my inbox. My blog of 4 August seems to have touched a core note with a lot of people. Here are some of the suggestions about what to do with teddy bears you no longer need or want (more to follow soon)...

"If you have bears in good condition, contact your local Police Department.  The Police in New Haven, Connecticut, USA started a program whereby the police officers carry two donated teddy bears in the trunk of each police car.  When they have to go to a house with a child in it who is traumatized - maybe abused, or there has been a fire or flood - they give the child a bear to make them feel comfortable.  If there is no such program in your town, suggest it to the Police.  One police lady officer started the program in our town." - Colette

"Animal shelters and zoos can use stuffed toys (in any condition, I believe) for the animals to play with. My children's favorite experience when we went to a zoo was watching a chimp play with a teddy bear and baby toys." - Chris

"Give your beloved teddy bear to a trusted friend and ask them to find a new home for it. It would give your friend an opportunity to help and it would be a sweet way to let go of a special keepsake." - Noreen

"Long before I heard about your work and books I did a real thorough clutter clearing. I was about 25 years old then. I tossed my beloved teddy bear because I just didn´t know what else to do. The important thing to know is that there is a mourning process and one should be aware of this. No matter how anyone will get rid of their beloved bear, you will probably miss him. I still miss mine 12 years later, but I would not want him back. I still know how his hugged-off fur felt. I think he is fine now, wherever he may be." - Susanne

"Take a picture of your teddy bear and place in a scrapbook.  That's what I do with flowers that have been given to me for a special occasion. Of course those flowers die but the love that they were given to me with always lives on.  Pictures are a nice (and space saving) reminder." - Joli

"If you still love it, keep it!" - Karoline

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Someone emailed me recently to say...

“I have had my teddy bear since I was very small, and I am now 26. She gave me support when I was feeling sad or angry. I feel as if she is alive in some sense. I have now moved her from the top of my dresser to inside my closet. I can't seem to get rid of her, because she feels alive to me. I don't know what to do. She is more than a stuffed animal but I feel like I have moved on from needing the type of supports she gave me when I was younger. She is too old and worn out to donate. How can I let her go?”

I’ve received many emails like this over the years. Of course teddy bears are not alive, but they do become imprinted with all the love and affection they are given and are certainly more personalized than most other belongings.

Throwing a teddy bear in the trash when you are done with it feels heartless and just plain wrong. If it’s still in good condition, donating it to a children’s charity or a child you know is an excellent solution. But what to do about a one-eyed bear that’s had all the fur hugged off it and really wouldn’t appeal to anyone but you? Do you bury it, burn it (ouch), keep it until you die because you can’t decide what to do (and then someone else will throw it away), or what?

One of the sweetest ideas I've heard is to take your soon-to-become-ex-teddy bear to a forest, sit it in the branches of a tree, and leave it there for the elements to reclaim it. Of course this would probably infringe litter laws in most public forests, and it would also be a bit spooky if this became common practice and there were ghostly teddy bears staring at you from every tree in every forest you visit.

So what is the solution? Email your suggestions and I'll post the best I receive to a later entry in this blog.

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As a result of including the posting about teddy bears in my last newsletter, I've received a deluge of emails with some great ideas and insights. They're still arriving so I'll wait a while and then post the best of them here soon.

I'm also receiving a lot of requests like this one:

"Could you please re-release your audio recording of Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui?  Preferably on CD or as an audio download.  Your recording is enormously helpful to be listening to as I'm busy clearing clutter -- can't read and clear at the same time!"

Clear Your Clutter was available for several years as an audio book on tape, published by Hay House, but it is now out of publication and the rights have reverted to me. I will be re-recording it soon and self-publishing it as an MP3 download, available from this website by the end of October at the latest (hopefully much sooner). 

The book has also been recorded in German by Rima Nouri, who used to be a Space Clearing practitioner. It has been published in two CD volumes by Der Audio Verlag, is available from bookstores in German-speaking countries, and will soon be available from my UK Online Store too. The title is Feng Shui gegen das Gerümpel des Alltags.

There are plans for more MP3 and CD recordings on different topics.

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