Dear Karen,

My father has lived in the same house all of his life. It is a house that was built by his parents, and the place where he and his children grew up. Recently he and his girlfriend have decided to move in together. They have decided to move into her house, as it is in a better area and would be a better investment.

This leaves my father in a difficult position. He needs to move out of and sell a house he is extremely attached to in order to move forward in his relationship. He and his girlfriend have experienced some moderate squabbles and tension regarding his delays in selling his house. There are some repairs and preparations he would like to make that she feels are unnecessary. When I suggested to my father that he should do whatever he would like to prepare himself to move, he said, "No, I don't think so. I'd like to take the house and put it in my back pocket."

Any suggestions?

Karen's reply:

In my consultancy work I have seen that it is always problematic when one partner moves into the home of another.

My advice to any couples setting up home together for the first time is always to do so in a place that neither person has lived in before. Therefore I strongly recommended that both your father and his girlfriend sell their properties, pool their finances, and buy a new home together.