Dear Karen,

I've never written to Ann Landers, a celebrity, let alone an author about anything in my life, so I find this a bit awkward trying to communicate to a stranger. But given that I "bought into" your book Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui, I want to share where I've ended up and request your comments.

First some background. In 1998 I vowed to simplify my life and rid myself of over 10 years of family stuff, toys, old obsolete college books, etc. I unloaded 3+ minivans full of stuff. Thank God, because in July of 1998 we suddenly moved to a new city and into a smaller house. I went to work and again downsized. I bought your book in early 2000 - and gained much speed. I can say that I have gone through 80% of my stuff, or common family stuff. My children (11 & 8) can now go to their room and pick out 5 things that they are done with and place it on my bed without supervision or argument and they often accompany me on the weekly trip to charity/recycle drop off locations.

This all sounds good and yes, I see much benefit to my family. However, I am left feeling angry, bitter, and resentful - mostly towards my husband. First, I kept on waiting for a breakthrough from all this heavy, dirty, and time consuming work. I cleaned out a basement-my husband got an unexpected raise. I tackled a library full of books -- my husband got asked to be on a civic board. I spend hours per week hauling trash -- and my husband thanks me and says what a wonderful job I'm doing, but won't make the time to help. Yes, I've asked, but of course Boy Scout, etc., is far more important. I've taken your advise and not touched his personal stuff, hoping that he would take responsibility for it. All the while I feel I have not gotten any direct personal benefit: such as a career opening, wonderful new friends, or just joy.

I have not shared him with these feeling as of yet, because frankly, I am so perplexed with these negative feelings towards him (we've been married 17 years -- and I really do adore him). This is not how I expected to feel after all the positive testimonials that you site. But somehow, somewhere in this space clearing I have picked up an emotional fungus that has to be handled before I go on.

You have my permission to share this story - although I doubt you will. Mostly I wanted your comments about these very unexpected results.

Thanks, Margaret, USA

Karen's reply:

In my books you will find that I explain that the clutter itself is not the problem - it is the emotional issues that are buried in the clutter that create the stagnant, unwholesome energies around it. By clearing it you are regenerating the energy in your home but are also having to face marital issues you have avoided for years. These issues were always there and would have surfaced sooner or later in the form of health problems (long-standing resentment is one of the primary causes of cancer), power struggles, relationship difficulties, or some other way. The clutter clearing is simply highlighting the issues.

My advice is to complete the clutter clearing and then do a full Space Clearing ceremony, as described in my first book, Creating Sacred Space with Feng Shui. This will clear out the old frequencies and allow you a new start. It would also be excellent for you to seek emotional support while you go through this process, such as working with a rebirthing professional.