I have just read Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui in Danish and I have some questions that I hope you can answer:
1) You say: If you find a new partner - move to a new place. But if it is not possible?
2) If you have been married before and you still have some furniture from that marriage because you like them, then you meet a new partner and he also likes the furniture, is it possible to clean the furniture or give it some kind of blessing so that it can be accepted in the new marriage ?
- Best regards, Anne Schmidt, Denmark
Karen's reply:
1) To give a new relationship the best chance it is always best to move to a new place that neither of you have lived before. If this is not possible then the next best thing is to space clear your home. You can find full information about Space Clearing in my first book, Creating Sacred Space with Feng Shui, which has been translated into many languages, including Danish.
Note: The very short description of Space Clearing at the back of my Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui book does not contain enough information for you to do effective Space Clearing.
2) Space Clearing will also clear the energy of the furniture you have from a previous marriage. However, I explain in Chapter 15 of Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui (entiled 'Clutter and Feng Shui Symbology') that this will only work if you have no negative associations with the objects as a result of the previous relationship.
I just purchased your book, Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui, and was intrigued by your comment that "a home that is too tidy, where everything is 'just so,' is energetically sterile and can be as much of a problem as a place that is a complete dump." Could you expand on what energetically sterile means and why it's a problem?
My husband and I are both quite neat. I wouldn't say "pristine" (although we are neat, there IS dust) but we always know where everything is, we put things away when we're done using them, we don't have much clutter (nothing piled up in any room or on our desks, etc.), we rarely keep things we don't need (we don't even have an attic or a basement), and we're both very organized (not just spatially, at home, but at work and in our day-to-day lives).
I don't want nor look forward to becoming disorganized or messy (especially once we have children!) but your comment about being too neat made me wonder and since you don't address it anywhere else in your book I thought I'd ask you here.
- I.F, USA
Karen's reply:
I'll explain this in the following way:
In Bali they call the even numbers (2, 4, 6, 8 and so on) dead numbers, and the odd numbers (1, 3, 5, 7, 9 and so on) are alive numbers. The reason is that the even numbers are in balance so nothing can happen. They also never build perfectly square rooms or buildings for the same reason. Persian weavers evoke similar wisdom when creating their magnificent carpets - they always make a deliberate mistake so that the carpet is not perfect.
A home where everything is 'just so' is too balanced and therefore does not provide an anchor for spiritual or personal growth or creativity. Conversely, a home where everything is untidy or disorganized does not nurture the occupants either. As always, my message is about finding the right balance between the two.
In Creating Sacred Space with Feng Shui you write, "Twice in my life I have got rid of everything I owned and started again."
This is what I want to do. I am very ready to do this, after years of thought, and the prospect is not scary for me. The things I own make me feel heavy, weigh me down, I feel I am not free to move where I need to and do what is healthy for me. Simplicity is increasingly important for both myself and my girlfriend - we are both at turning points, we need to transform our lives, and we wish to move elsewhere and live very simply together (fortunately my girlfriend has very little property). Do you have any recommendations for me as I consider how to get rid of all my stuff?
- G.F, United Kingdom
Karen's reply:
The first time I did this I (amicably) left my boyfriend and left all my stuff for him to use or dispose of as he would. The second time I had a whole house full of things. I sold all the big stuff to a property developer friend and sold the rest at a car boot sale. In both cases, the whole thing was accomplished within a week of deciding to do it, and I have never regretted either decluttering.
However this radical action is not for everyone. In both cases I also had a very clear idea of the next important step to take in my spiritual journey after I had lightened my load, and so disposing of everything was effortless. The fact that you have written to ask how to do this suggests to me that you may not have this clarity and therefore may not accomplish much by taking such action. The art to twenty first century spiritual life is to have the right amount of things around you so that you can accomplish what you need to do but not so much that they hold you back from doing that. Too little or too much can hamper you - you just need the right balance.
In Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui you mentioned that you used a special technique for your photograph. Can you explain what you did and how you did it?
- Susan Harrow, USA
Karen's reply:
A lot of people have written to ask me about this! The trick lies in what you are thinking and feeling as the photograph is being taken, and even more importantly, what you are connecting to on a higher level. If the photo is for publicity purposes it is also useful to decide how many people you want to connect with and what type of people they are - then put out that energy at the moment the photo is taken. It is helpful if you have a photographer who knows their art but the quality of result they can get will depend on your own ability to project through the camera to the world.
I am looking for more help on how to keep my desk and my paper work orderly and current. In searching for Declan Treacy's book Clear Your Desk. I find it available only at prices starting at almost $100. Any ideas?
~ Thanks, A.H.
Karen's reply:
Checked www.amazon.co.uk today (25 March 2005) and you can get a copy there starting from just £2.00, so it would be worth paying the extra for the shipping to the USA.
The wealth area of the bagua is situated over my daughter's room. Keeping it tidy and uncluttered is a BIG problem. She is a preteen. Of course my financial stability could be better. Any suggestions?
- Christine Graziano, USA
Karen's reply:
The marvellous thing about the bagua is that there are so many ways you can work with it. First there is the bagua of the plot of land your home is on; then there is the bagua of the home itself; and there is also the bagua of each room in the home. So, in your case, simply work to enhance the wealth areas of the plot of land and the individual rooms in the home, especially the family rooms that are used the most. You'll find many suggestions for how to do this in Part Five of my book, Creating Sacred Space with Feng Shui.
I've never written to Ann Landers, a celebrity, let alone an author about anything in my life, so I find this a bit awkward trying to communicate to a stranger. But given that I "bought into" your book Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui, I want to share where I've ended up and request your comments.
First some background. In 1998 I vowed to simplify my life and rid myself of over 10 years of family stuff, toys, old obsolete college books, etc. I unloaded 3+ minivans full of stuff. Thank God, because in July of 1998 we suddenly moved to a new city and into a smaller house. I went to work and again downsized. I bought your book in early 2000 - and gained much speed. I can say that I have gone through 80% of my stuff, or common family stuff. My children (11 & 8) can now go to their room and pick out 5 things that they are done with and place it on my bed without supervision or argument and they often accompany me on the weekly trip to charity/recycle drop off locations.
This all sounds good and yes, I see much benefit to my family. However, I am left feeling angry, bitter, and resentful - mostly towards my husband. First, I kept on waiting for a breakthrough from all this heavy, dirty, and time consuming work. I cleaned out a basement-my husband got an unexpected raise. I tackled a library full of books -- my husband got asked to be on a civic board. I spend hours per week hauling trash -- and my husband thanks me and says what a wonderful job I'm doing, but won't make the time to help. Yes, I've asked, but of course Boy Scout, etc., is far more important. I've taken your advise and not touched his personal stuff, hoping that he would take responsibility for it. All the while I feel I have not gotten any direct personal benefit: such as a career opening, wonderful new friends, or just joy.
I have not shared him with these feeling as of yet, because frankly, I am so perplexed with these negative feelings towards him (we've been married 17 years -- and I really do adore him). This is not how I expected to feel after all the positive testimonials that you site. But somehow, somewhere in this space clearing I have picked up an emotional fungus that has to be handled before I go on.
You have my permission to share this story - although I doubt you will. Mostly I wanted your comments about these very unexpected results.
Thanks, Margaret, USA
Karen's reply:
In my books you will find that I explain that the clutter itself is not the problem - it is the emotional issues that are buried in the clutter that create the stagnant, unwholesome energies around it. By clearing it you are regenerating the energy in your home but are also having to face marital issues you have avoided for years. These issues were always there and would have surfaced sooner or later in the form of health problems (long-standing resentment is one of the primary causes of cancer), power struggles, relationship difficulties, or some other way. The clutter clearing is simply highlighting the issues.
My advice is to complete the clutter clearing and then do a full Space Clearing ceremony, as described in my first book, Creating Sacred Space with Feng Shui. This will clear out the old frequencies and allow you a new start. It would also be excellent for you to seek emotional support while you go through this process, such as working with a rebirthing professional.
I have read your book, Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui several times and have been inspired but I have come to a point where I can clear no more. In the book you always refer to clutter as things we no longer need/like/want but I am terrible for buying in the sales - I buy Christmas presents at half price and store them in cupboard all year! The problem is I have 2 cupboards full of Christmas presents for my 3 children. I feel I cannot afford to wait (nor do I want to) until December and buy them all at once for the full price but every year I find myself thinking, "I can't wait till Christmas so that I can get this cupboard emptied". Then of course in January I go out and fill it up again.
What is your view on this sort of 'clutter' that is not no longer needed/wanted or liked?
Thanks in advance - Victoria Elson, UK
Karen's reply:
I don't have a whole cupboard full like you but I do have a presents box where I keep gifts until it's time to give them. This saves last-minute buying. This isn't clutter because each item has been bought for a specific purpose and will only be there temporarily.
It sounds to me as if you've done enough clutter clearing for a while and you've got your life pretty well organized. Now it's time to use the space you've created to focus on the more important things of life - whatever is of value to you.
How does our summer residence affect us when we are not there? I mean could we use it for temporary storing of things or does that affect us too when we are not there?
- M.B., Denmark
Karen's reply:
Temporary storage of reasonable quantities of anything anywhere is not a problem, providing they are stored in an organized way and do not block the flow of energy in the space too much. The problems start if things are left for a long time and the energy stagnates around them.
Where long-term storage is concerned (more than a few months), things stored in your main home will affect you more than those stored in your summer residence. However, as you are connected to everything you own, the reason for storage also needs to be looked at. If, for example, you are keeping things indefinitely in your summer home because they may come in useful some day this will impact on your energy far more than items you are keeping for say, 6 months, until you move to a new home and have somewhere to put them
I've now read both your sacred space and clutter clearing books and continue to be enthusiastic about clearing the clutter in my life. I have no difficulty parting with old clothing, food, household items, etc. These can be easily donated. But I don't know what to do with all of the "personal" clutter. It feels unsafe to throw personal photographs into a trash bag, along with documents, trophies, and certificates that all have my name, personal information, or face on them.
- Cindy, USA
Karen's reply:
Simple - get yourself a document shredder. They're not very expensive and great fun to use!
Although you do encourage recycling in your book and you do encourage people to think twice before bringing new purchases home, there are also many references to slinging unwanted things in the trash. Broken, worn out items belong in the trash bin, no doubt about it, but I think you might put more emphasis on passing usable items on to others. Otherwise, we add to all the billions of rubbish in landfills, and I have to wonder what that means to our global bagua, our collective chi. Everything is interconnected, is it not?
- K.O., USA
Karen's reply:
I live in Bali where everything is recycled, including things that would be classified in the West as complete trash. Waste food from my kitchen is given to a neighbour's pigs, plastic water bottles are collected by young children and sold back to manufacturers in order to get money for their school tuition fees, torn clothes are salvaged from trash bins, patched together and worn for another 5 years by people who can't afford anything new, and broken or worn-out household items are snapped up in an instant and turned into something useful.
No-one has instituted a recycling system in this country - there is just such a level of poverty that people can't afford to do otherwise. Yes, I know Bali is depicted as being a glamorous tourist destination, but if you visit rural areas you will find some of the most extreme poverty and malnourishment on Earth.
When writing for international audiences (my book is now in 20 languages), there are different cultural perceptions about what is recyclable and what is not. To avoid this problem I explain that I wholeheartedly encourage recycling and then leave the reader to decide which items it is appropriate to recycle in their own country, and which not.
My sister was recently married and moved out of the country. As a hostess gift she gave me (and several other participants in her wedding) a book which I believe was intended to help guide us to the type of joy and happiness which she is now experiencing. When my boyfriend saw this book, he took offense at the title and threw it down a long hallway in my apartment.
I don't want to get rid of this book because (1) I do believe that the information in it is very important for me to study and (2) it was a lovely gift from my sister who not only wrote a beautiful inscription to me inside, but also had signed by the author. However, every time I read the book, I see the "scars" (bent corner pages) and I get furious when I recall the incident. Do you have any suggestions on how I can best handle this item?
- V.P.
Karen's reply:
If it is not possible to resolve the difference in values with your boyfriend then it seems to be a clear choice of clutter clearing the book or clutter clearing him from your life. The incident itself is not the problem - it is simply highlighting the real underlying problems in your relationship.
Is there any one color that organizers should encourage clients to introduce into their environment that will help them become better organized or stay organized?
- Elizabeth Early Sheehan, USA
Karen's reply:
Yes, there are colours that can be used, but no general formula I can offer as solutions needs to be tailored to individual clients. However there is one colour that I always encourage professional organizers and their clients to avoid and that's black. Black decor, black clothing, too much black anything.
Black is actually not a colour but the absence of colour. If a person goes through a phase of wearing mostly black clothing it is symptomatic of them being spiritually lost. Black has its place in certain types of very advanced spiritual work but has to be used very specifically and wisely. A preponderance of black in the home attracts stagnant and low level energies, which encourages clutter to accumulate, and organizers who wear black increase the risk of picking up perverse energies while visiting the homes of clients who have clutter.
Grey, which is a mixture of white and black, is also not a good colour to use as it brings in frequencies of indecisiveness that promote rather than reduce procrastination.
What is Space Clearing?
