Many people write to ask me questions about aspects of space clearing that are not clear to them after reading just the very brief outline of the ceremony in the Appendix of Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui.
This outline was requested by my publisher to give readers an idea what space clearing is about, and it has turned out to be a huge mistake to agree to it. The reason is that too many people form the impression after reading it that all they have to do is vaguely follow the short list of 21 steps and their home will be space cleared. There is, of course, a great deal more that must be understood in order to do the space clearing ceremony effectively. The background information and precise instructions for how to do the ceremony are contained in my first book, Creating Sacred Space with Feng Shui, and to attempt to do the ceremony without reading this book first is a complete waste of time.
Since mid-2004, UK editions of Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui no longer have this Appendix, but it has not been possible to remove it from the US edition or foreign translations.
I recently bought and read the book Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui. I have not read Creating Sacred Space with Feng Shui.
My question is: Is there a specific order between the two? I have started the clutter clearing, and am feeling very motivated. Should I be clearing the clutter first or should I read about creating sacred space? I'm not sure what the difference is between the two.
I do intend to get the other book but thought I would just concentrate on clutter first. Does it matter which one comes first?
Thank you very much, Gloria Florence, California, USA
Karen's reply:
It isn't necessary to read both books but they are designed to complement each other and you certainly will get better clutter clearing results if you also do Space Clearing, and better Space Clearing results if you also do clutter clearing!
The ideal order is clutter clearing first and then Space Clearing, but if you have so much clutter that this is impractical then do Space Clearing first, then clutter clearing. Space Clearing removes the stagnant energy that collects around clutter, so makes it very much easier to clear.
If you do it this way round, I recommend that you do Space Clearing again after clutter clearing, with the focus on what you aspire to in your life now that you are no longer burdened by your junk. It's a bit more work doing it this way but if you have a lot of clutter it's better than being immobilized by it and never doing anything at all!
I read that one should not do clutter clearing during pregnancy and I am pregnant at the moment. I didn't understand the reason and I would like you to explain to me, please.
- Lara, Portugal
Karen's reply:
You absolutely CAN do clutter clearing while pregnant. I think this confusion may have come about because my publishers asked me to include a brief description of my Space Clearing ceremony in my Clear Your Clutter book, and some people have unfortunately tried to do Space Clearing just from reading that. It is absolutely vital to read the detailed information in Creating Sacred Space with Feng Shui first, and one of the things explained in the book is why it is not advisable to do the ceremony while pregnant.
Clutter clearing is a preparation for the Space Clearing ceremony rather than an actual part of it, so it's fine to do this when pregnant. In fact I heartily recommend that you do!
I am stuck. I am fascinated by your book about clearing clutter. I have so much of it!!! I have tried to clear and then half way I give up or get diverted because I feel there is quite a bit of pain I have to go through. I want to move on but it seems I just shift the stuff around but not clearing it. I have suffered from bereavement and depression over the past years. I desperately want to let the past go in the last few days of this century. Any advice on how I can make the shift?
- B.C., Ireland
Karen's reply:
I'm glad to hear my book has helped you make a start. My best advice to you is to keep reading and re-reading it so that you stay motivated to continue. If possible, ask a friend (the kind who doesn't have much clutter) to help and support you as you do it. Just do one small area at a time. Focus on the progress you are making rather than how much there is still to do. Keep in mind, as you do the clutter clearing, that you are letting go of the old to create space for a new and better life.
And when it all seems too much, put the problem in perspective by realizing how many millions of people in the world have nothing at all, and be sincerely grateful that your lot in life has been to have too much rather than too little. Then go clear some more! The trick is to get the right balance - not too much and not too little for your life.
I've got your Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui which I find to be inspiring but leaves me feeling somewhat inadequate as it insists on tackling everywhere and some areas I just cannot face. However, I do have to sit a driving test next month and wonder if there's any area I must attend to to ensure my best chances of passing. Thanks for any help in advance.
- Monique, Scotland
Karen's reply:
I'm sorry to say there is no amazing quick fix to ensure you pass your driving test by clutter clearing. However you can make good use of an event such as this by using it as a target date to work towards in your clutter clearing progress, since the clearer you are the better your life will work on all levels.
As it says in my book, begin by listing all the areas that need attention, then clutter clear the smallest ones that irritate you the most. In this way you'll find you can work your way around your home, using the released energy from each small success to help you tackle the next one. The important thing is to begin SOMEWHERE!
Good luck with the clutter clearing and with the driving test.
I've always been a clutter-clearing person but recently I don't have enough time to do the clearing I'd like to. When I've done the daily work concerning my baby boys (aged two years and 9 months) the house and the garden there's not much time left.
May I wait for some months to do the next sincere clutter-clearing? As we moved to our new house some months ago it's only the clearing of small cupboards and drawers which has to be done but it really makes me grumpy to see the things waiting to be cleared and not being able to do it.
- Steffanie, Germany
Karen's reply:
It would be best to clear a small area whenever you can rather than let the problem build. You say you may have to wait for some months but it is very easy for months to turn into years when caring for young children.
And if you have put on some extra weight since having the children it is even more important that you do what you can whenever you can. Weight gain and clutter build up often go hand in hand and the longer you leave it the more difficult it is to shed both.
Your books have changed my life in many wonderful ways but I still hate ironing. If you would just PLEASE let me know the make of the iron you bought I would be eternally gratefully!
- Jennifer Bright, USA
Karen's reply:
It's amazing how many requests I've had for this information! I bought it in the UK and it's a Tefal Ultraglide Pro.
I've also heard that JC Penney's sells this same iron in the USA, and some branches of Target also sell some models of Tefal irons.
I have just read your book and I start clearing up my clutter. But I realize that I have problems throwing away stuff that people give to me, especially from a woman who cleans our apartment once a week. She loves cleaning and is a big help. She is a lot older then me and it is very important for her that I am satisfied. But she brings in stuff that I don't want and I do not know how to tell her that I do not like this without hurting her. I tried to love the stuff and tell myself that she is doing so much good things for us, but I realize I am getting aggressive when I come home and she has changed something or put new stuff somewhere. I do not want to tell her not to come any more because I know that the work is very important to her. Do you have a solution for me?
- E.F, Germany
Karen's reply:
The longer you let this continue, the worse it will get. Her well-meaning behaviour will not change unless you do or say something about it. Just tell her, kindly but firmly, that you are having a big clear out so please do not bring any new objects into the house. You can offer her some of the objects you are throwing out ("Would this be any use to you?") and then after you have done that a few times and she can see you are serious, you can also offer her some of the objects she has given you ("It's time for a completely fresh start so would you like this back or shall I find a new home for it with someone else who can use it?").
Remember, it's your life and your home, and every time you look at an unwanted gift, your energy drops. Take this as an opportunity to learn self-assertion and gently reclaim your power!
I hope you can help me. I am in the process of clearing my living room from clutter. I have two indian pictures and I wasn't sure if they are good luck for feng shui. Regards,
- Theresa
Karen's reply:
I refer you to Chapter 15 of Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui, entitled Clutter and Feng Shui Symbology. It begins with the following explanation:
There are two ways that the symbology of the things in your home can affect you. The first has to do with the personal associations you have with an item, and the second has to do with the frequency emitted by the object itself.
Reading this chapter will enable you to see that to answer this question it is necessary to see the pictures you are concerned about, sense the energy they emit, appreciate how you feel about them, discover their history, see where they are placed in your home in relation to everything else, and so on. It's not a simple matter of 'indian pictures are good' or 'indian pictures are bad'.
To understand this subject in more depth, read Life Energy and The Emotions by John Diamond, which will help you to start to assess whether the frequencies of your pictures are beneficial to you or not.
I'm thinking about the best way to organize my clothes in my closet. As a woman, It seems as if I have a gazillon items. I am going through them to determine if I really do want to keep them all. In the process, I'm wondering what is the best way to organize the different types of tops that I have from t-shirts to casual short and long sleeve tops to dressy short and long sleeve tops. I understand arranging them by color which I do. But by function is not really working. Or I might need to be more critical as to which category a top belongs in? Any suggestions would be helpful.
- Vera Mae Volk, USA
Karen's reply:
Most people only wear 20% of the clothes they own so rather than agonizing over how to organize everything my best suggestion is that you dump all the stuff you don't wear, arrange the rest by colour and then get on with your life.
A core premise of my teachings is that the western world has become far too engrossed in material matters, leading to spiritual disconnection on a massive scale. If I were to put your question to a Balinese person I know exactly what their reply would be: Put your hats at the top of the closet, your shoes at the bottom, and everything else in between according to where you wear it on your person. The reason is simple: They believe we are made in the image of God (microcosms within macrocosms) and so their clothes are arranged according to this cosmic design in order to bring spiritual harmony to their lives. Try it and see. It really feels great.
Is it OK to store shoes in their boxes neatly under the bed?
- Lori Henry, USA
Karen's reply:
Shoes have very low level energies because they are always in contact with the ground. In most Asian countries people are sensitive to this and remove their shoes before entering their home. Storing shoes under the bed is therefore NOT recommended. It is best not to have shoes in the bedroom at all, and especially not near the head of the bed.
When I read the section called 'Clear Your Desk' in your book Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui I figured you had snuck into my home office and taken a peek. You described my desk perfectly - stacks and stacks of papers piled everywhere with about a 12 x 12 space available to work.
Needless to say, my productivity is down and my embarrassment factor is up, which isn't too good as a the owner of a home-based business. It's not really impressive when people see such a cluttered desk! The excuse that I'm really busy with a lot of work only goes so far.
Since reading that section in your book, my desk clutter has definitely improved, but still needs some work. I read with great interest your mention of a book by Declan Treacy called Clear Your Desk where he describes the desks and business practices of some of the top entrepreneurs in the world. I'd love to read it for some additional help and inspiration, but I can't find it anywhere. I was hoping you could tell me the name of the publishing house and the date of publication, and if available, the ISBN # from the title page of the book so I could track it down.
Thank you so much for your help and for your wonderful book. It was given to me by a dear friend for my birthday and has made a big difference in my life. I always mention it in conversations with people when they say they are looking for a change in their life. But what always amazes me is that at least half the people I've mentioned it to have told me they already own the book and also love it!! I even know a few people who have done the colon cleanse. Now that is dedication!
- P.C., USA
Karen's reply:
Declan Treacy's Clear Your Desk is not available in the USA but can be ordered through overseas booksellers. The best price I've found is at the UK division of Amazon.com - www.amazon.co.uk.
The ISBN number is 0-09-927192-3.
The latest edition was reprinted in 1998 by Arrow Books, a division of Random House.
In your book about clutter clearing you mentioned that nothing should hang or be stacked behind the door or on it. Does that refer to doors of rooms only or ALL doors including closet doors? Thank you,
- Tamir
Karen's reply:
It is particularly important that doors of rooms are able to fully open so that energy can flow around your home. It is not so vital for closet doors but it is preferable to be able to open them fully and not have things hanging on them. This is especially the case if the closet is located in an area of your bagua relating to as aspect of your life that is not working very well.
If everyone followed the advice about clearing up attics & basements we would soon lose our cultural heritage when it comes to furniture & handicraft. And I enjoy having a bed made out of a 1880's wooden sofa, instead of IKEA crap made out of pressed sawdust and intended to last ten years. I would like to hear your comments about how to combine interests in both antiques and feng shui.
- E.H., Sweden
Karen's reply:
Firstly, there's no need to throw anything away that you use and love.
Secondly, you can use Space Clearing to clear out any unwanted frequencies of antique furniture (the brief description given in Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui is not enough to be able to do this properly - the full description is in my first book, Creating Sacred Space with Feng Shui).
And thirdly, I personally never have pressed sawdust type furniture in my home because it outgasses toxins for years!
After reading your book on decluttering, I decided to shave off my beard of ten years. Would you consider this a form of decluttering the body?
- Ken Casey, USA
Karen's reply:
Absolutely! Clearing facial clutter definitely counts! My own perception of beards is that men generally use them to hide behind. It makes them feel less emotionally vulnerable. I'm interested to know if you agree with this and feel more exposed since shaving it off?
Hi, Ms. Kingston.
I had to think for a while in order to answer your question. Concerning the "hiding" aspect of beards, I would agree with you in my case. I had just shaven it off the day I first e-mailed you. I do find your observation quite intriguing. Upon considering my emotional vulnerability, I would say, yes, I am experiencing a little more of it. I grew the beard upon a failed promotion at work. . I continued to work successfully in my pre-promotion capacity for an additional four years before I left the company.
It was not until my wife and I read your decluttering book that I considered even changing my face to the world. Since our last communication, I have cleared out the attic, recommenced an heretofore unfinished home improvement project, and most importantly, have sorted through and discarded old working papers from my previous employer! How's that for progress!
Previously, my family and I dabbled in feng-shui. Not until we read your book did we recognize the aspects of my clutterhood. We immediately jumped into action, and our lives are changing for the positive. Best regards,
I have lots of bits & pieces as ornaments, where do I put them?
- Kerry, Australia
Karen's reply:
My definition of clutter is:
(1) Things you do not use or love (2) Things that are untidy or disorganized (3) Too many things in too small a space (4) Anything unfinished Lots of bits and pieces without a home falls into category (4), so your ornaments are clutter at the moment.
If you truly love them and have enough space for them without making your space feel cluttered, then figure out the best location for each of them. If there are items you can't find a good place for, let them go.
A simple motto is: Keep the best and dump the rest!
It's a pleasure to communicate to you, Karen. I am moved by your books. I have searched however not only in your books but other Feng Shui and clutter clearing books about how an artist can apply Feng Shui and clearing techniques. My desired art media is found objects, fabric, and any material I can get my hands on: wire, beads, foam, string, paint. Its an infinite set. So this leads to complications when I'm expelling clutter from my home. "I might need this someday", the most common excuse for hoarding, is a literal notion for me as I really do use many of the things around me for my art. At the same time I am a single working mother and my time for artmaking has drastically been reduced to almost no time at all. I love making art though and it is well received so I know it is my path. I have a show lined up for the end of the year so I will make it work somehow, joyfully I might add. I'm concerned for the effects to my Bagua map and the overall condition of order in my home because of these material attachments. I'm so interested in what you may suggest that I'm feeling more hopeful already just by writing this letter to you.
PS. The option of having a studio outside of the home is out of the cards for awhile as I'm striving to get out of "survival mode." I get this mindset could be something to be addressed too; this "survival mode".
I appreciate your time,
Sincerely Yours - KT in Texas
Karen's reply:
I get hundreds of emails a week from people, asking all manner of questions. Something I have consistently noticed is that people who have a lot of clutter generally use a lot of words to express themselves and tend to write in very long paragraphs, as if they are not taking a pause to breathe (which is what the energy of their home feels like too).
As you may have realized, your email falls into this category, so you the chances are you have some fairly serious clutter clearing to do here.
I suggest you review how many works of art you have actually produced lately from your stash of objects, and also reflect on the following article that was published in the New Scientist, UK on 15 Nov 2003 in the UK. The second paragraph gives very interesting insights into our hoarding urges:
Steven Anderson of the University of Iowa and his team studied a group of pathological collectors. They found that damage to the frontal lobes of the brain impaired judgement and caused emotional disturbances. But only when the injury extended to the right mesial prefrontal cortex, did the patients develop a serious collecting habit too, Anderson told the meeting of the Society for Neuroscience in Now Orleans this week.
Previous work in rodents shows that more primitive subcortical brain regions produce the drive to collect food or useless objects. No matter how much they have stashed away, animals will just go on collecting. We have the same basic drive, says Anderson. But the right mesial prefrontal cortex can normally discriminate between something of use and something that’s useless, and keeps the drive in check. When it is damaged, the more primitive collecting drive comes to the fore.
I really appreciated your book. It has made a big difference in my life. However, I have difficulty in some areas more than others. For instance I have kept almost everything that my 3 children have ever made, drawn, etc. and find I have difficulty giving away all that much of the clothing they have had. My thoughts are for instance, "What if I or they will want to look at all their drawings?" when we are old/older!!!"
Something tells me I am not rational in this. Have you any ideas how I can alter my thinking so as to be free from all this - I guess - clutter?
- W.J., Sweden
Karen's reply:
Speaking as one who has survived totally emotionally unscathed without retaining any of the trappings of my childhood whatsoever, I can assure you that it's perfectly OK to let these things go. Rather than planning to dwell in the nostalgia of years gone by it is far more beneficial for you and your children to deeply appreciate each other as you are. Live in the present moment rather than the past.
If this doesn't convince you then I have another suggestion to wean you off this hoarding tendency. I'm going to reiterate the advice in my book:
If you have particularly fond attachments to items that date back to your tender childhood years, here's something you can do that many people have found very liberating - photograph them for posterity and then let them go. The photos will retain those heart-warming images forever and can be stored in a fraction of the space the items themselves would take up.
In your case I would refine this further and suggest that you photograph only the best and simply dump the rest. Otherwise you will end up with a huge album of photos you won't know what to do with. I'd say that 10 or 20 photos is more than enough for you to capture the flavour of those times.
See also my comments about journals earlier on this page. Artwork and journalling are a very similar process.
I loved both your books and I am changing my life with them. "Clearing" is so empowering!
Quick question: What about journals one has written over the years? I have just about cleared out everything I own that was clutter, but I don't think I could do it to the journals.
- Kiri Kirihatz
Karen's reply:
To appreciate my answer, first let me say that I believe journal writing is a valuable process. It allows you to get a better focus on what is happening in your life. However, it is usually what is out of balance in a person that causes them to feel the need to write a journal.
One way you can understand this is to think about when two people who like each other spend time together. They will chatter away until the energy between them is balanced. After that they can experience that magical companionable silence of dear friends, and this is possible because there is nothing more that needs to be said. They are in balance.
My best advice about journals is therefore to write them, extract the wisdoms, and let the rest go. Most people, if they are honest, will find that the majority of what they write consists of processing their 'stuff' (mental, emotional and spiritual clutter) to allow them to get to the essence of what they need to learn at that time.
The art of successful living is to learn from our experiences and move on. If you find yourself needing to keep re-reading journals to find out where you've been, it means you aren't getting to the essence of the experience first time round and then life will need to throw it up again in a different form for you to have another go.
Always write with the intention of getting to the core essence of the matter and getting to a place of knowing that goes beyond words (for those who have taken my Advanced Space Clearing workshop, I am talking here about aspiring to Level 3). When you do this, you will no longer feel the need to keep the writings that got you there.
I've recently become interested in genealogy, particularly researching my father's family, since I am the only living descendant. All these people died when I was very young, so I hardly knew them, and when I find a letter or newspaper article or other information about them it fills a 'missing part' of me in some way that's hard to explain.
Because of this, I've started collecting pictures and personal writings of some of my living relatives. Although I don't know if it would mean the same as it does to me, I want my children and grandchildren to have the opportunity to experience the pleasure (if it is for them) of knowing something about their families. Since I am just starting major-league clutter clearing at the same time I'm starting to collect these items (which I do love - at least for now), my thought is to follow what appears to be your advice in other responses - keep them organized and tidy and review them periodically to see if they still have the same meaning.
Any advice?
- Linda Baugh, USA
Karen's reply:
Current projects do not count as clutter, especially projects you feel so strongly about and that cause this wonderful energy 'click' you describe when you find new information. I wholeheartedly encourage you continue and, as you say, keep the items organized and tidy and review them periodically. You're definitely on the right track here.
Is there a specific brand name available in NZ for colon cleansing?
- L.G.
Karen's reply:
In my experience, colon cleansing products generally available are pretty weak and ineffectual. I have only ever visited New Zealand once and have no information about herbal resources there but you can purchase the herbs I recommend by mail order from England. They ship within 24 hours and you can order over the internet. Go to the Links section of my website for contact information.
Or you could find a local herbalist who works with Dr Christopher remedies. It really is better to work with a herbalist than to do colon cleansing by yourself. Most people get half way and give up without a professional to consult when they get into uncharted realms, as you are very likely to do if you have never done colon cleansing before.
I read your book, Clear your Clutter with Feng Shui. While talking to friends, one mentioned that colon cleansing was not part of Chinese Medicine, so it is interesting that you mention it in your book as part of Feng Shui. If my friend is correct, is this form of colon cleansing a part of traditional Feng Shui or have you expanded your interpretation to include this? As well as including clearing out emotional, mental and spiritual clutter? All this is a leap beyond organizing your furniture. Warm regards,
- Tom Cooper, USA
Karen's reply:
Your friend is correct that colon cleansing is not part of traditional Chinese Feng Shui. Neither is clutter clearing, come to that. But the fact of the matter is that all Feng Shui is only minimally effective if a place is cluttered, simply because of the stagnant energy that collects around clutter. This has become a particularly dire problem in our materialistic western world at the present time.
None of my books are actually written from the standpoint of Chinese Feng Shui. China is just one of many traditional cultures that has evolved a form of these arts, which are all based on understanding the workings of the unseen realms of energy. By studying these unseen realms for so many years, I have been able to access a form of Feng Shui that is universally applicable and does not contain the superstitious elements of local versions of Feng Shui. I have also been able to extend it to other aspects of life, such as colon cleansing, which is a form of inner clutter clearing). This practice will make a lot more sense to you if you also read my first book, Creating Sacred Space with Feng Shui.
Q1: You say in your book that you should ideally cleanse for 1 month for every year you have been eating sugars, etc. Does this mean that I have to undertake colon cleansing for 33 months?
Q2: I have tried to undertake the colon cleanse program and find I have no energy if am unable to eat meat. What would you suggest to move thru this?
- M.L, Australia
Karen's reply:
Q1: There was an editing error in early versions of Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui. The corrected text reads:
Allow three to nine months, depending on how long you have been eating sugar, mucus-forming or other junk food.
Q2: If you find you cannot do without animal protein, reduce your consumption to once a day and eat fish or poultry rather than meat. See also my reply to the question about Diet & Colon Cleansing above.
I don't know if I'm able (willing, more like it) to eliminate all the things from my diet that cause the mucous to build up, like meat, dairy and soy (I'm a recovering compulsive overeater and go to Overeaters Anonymous and it's very difficult for me to "control" what I eat!). I know you said it's best to stop eating these things and do the cleanse, but do you think it's possible just to do the cleanse? Would it be of some benefit at least to clear out what's already in there, even if it may build back up again?
- E.F., California, USA
Karen's reply:
Colon cleansing is of benefit, no matter what your diet, but if you eat junk food whilst doing it then all it will probably help with is clearing out what you eat as you do it, rather than the toxic residues that have built up over years. At least cut down on, or better still, eliminate sugar while colon cleansing (read Sugar Blues by William Dufty to put you off sugar for ever!).
In my books I recommend that anyone doing colon cleansing seek out the advice of a qualified herbal practitioner, and this is especially vital for someone with an eating disorder. Please do not use long-term colon cleansing as a substitute for improving your diet - that's not the idea at all, and can be harmful.
Finally, be sure to read up on the subject before doing colon cleansing. The book I recommend most often is The Colon Health Handbook by Robert Gray. It's short, simple and very informative.
I have just read your Creating Sacred Space with Feng Shui book and I would like more detail related to colon cleansing and how I can do this.
- S.V., Brazil
Karen's reply:
There was such a huge response to the colon cleansing information in my first book that I included a whole chapter about it (a long one) in my second book, Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui. You can buy it at bookstores worldwide or from Amazon.com.
For up-to-date contact details of suppliers of colon cleansing herbs, go to the Links page of this website, and for further information, also read my reply to the next question below.
It hurts me to think of sentimental things, like my mother's clothes, etc. going to strangers. What if I burn them?
Karen's reply:
After a matter of weeks or months at the most, physical objects have no significance to a person after they have left their physical body. But if it will make you feel better, why not dispose of them in whatever way you feel your mother would have liked?
To gain deeper insights into what happens when someone dies, I can highly recommend Death: The Great Journey, available by mail order from www.clairvision.org. This is the best writing I have ever found on the topic of death and dying, and will help you decide what it is best to do.
It's also in the Top Ten of my 'Must Read While On Planet Earth' booklist. It's as much about how to live as how to die, so you'll find it very useful for your own spiritual journey too.
I'm stuck. I'm doing the basement now (I'm well aware that it's the past). Both my parents are deceased and I have all their photo albums and yearbooks from high school and college. Do you have a guide for what to do with them? I would just chuck them but that makes my brother and sister uncomfortable. Of course they don't want to store them either. I know they're not good for me because I can feel it. Help.
- VP, USA
Karen's reply:
You have answered your own question. If your brother or sister don't want these items enough to take them from you then they are not really wanted by anyone. They may have been important to your parents but that doesn't mean they will have any value for anyone else. Let your siblings know you are having a giant clear-out and if there is anything they want, they will need to claim it before a certain date not too far hence. This makes the whole situation very clear.
I have a question about objects. Both my mom and my dad recently passed away. They have some things that I really want and some things I really could use. My husband passed away too, a long time ago, and I still have some things that were his.
I heard that it is bad feng shui energy to keep things of a deceased person, but could you elaborate? Can't the energy of the objects be changed? And what about pictures. Is it okay to have them but not display them?
-PK, USA
Karen's reply:
I sigh when I hear someone say it might be 'bad feng shui' to do this or that because such sweeping generalizations are fraught with problems. Each situation must be looked at on its own merits.
First of all, an object does not become 'bad' or have a negative effect on an environment just because the person who used to own it no longer inhabits a human body. How could that possibly be right?
I categorize clutter into four types:
1) Things you do not use or love 2) Things that are untidy or disorganized 3) Too many things in too small a space 4) Anything unfinished
Categories 1, 2 & 3 are relatively easy to assess in relation to this question. Category 4 can present more complex issues because grieving or other emotions can be involved.
My advice is to keep the things you love or use, providing there are not too many of them, the space you have is big enough for them and your life is moving on. If some items do not fit this description then as your grief passes, move to a phase of letting go - of the objects as well as the person.
To assist this process, don't allow your energy or the energy of your home to stagnate. Keep active and take regular exercise. A Space Clearing ceremony is also an excellent thing to do after someone has died, to revitalize the energy of your home and consecrate it to your future life. It's best to have a friend do this for you if you are still grieving - someone who is not too emotionally involved with events and can hold the energy of the space at high level. Better still, call in a professional space clearer if there is one in your area.
There is a brief description of how to do the Space Clearing ceremony in the back of Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui but to do it safely and effectively it is necessary to read the full description in my first book, Creating Sacred Space with Feng Shui. If you have objects in your home that belonged to a person who was sick for a while before they died then this ceremony can clear the energy they will have been imprinted with.
As to keeping photos, it's a matter of keeping up-to-date in your life. It's best to have photos around you that energize you and are important to you. All photos emit frequencies. If the ones you currently have on display make you feel good and your life is moving forward in positive ways, fine. If not, replace them with something better. Review your photos regularly to make sure they all still support who you are and what you are doing in your life.
I'm a new fan of yours and could not put my first book (Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui) down until I had read the last page.
My question is this: My husband and I are both in our early 60's and have been married for 2 years. I'm a clean freak and my husband is the king of clutter. I read what you said about leaving another person's clutter alone. I do understand that one person can never change another and I know that the few times I have tried to persuade him to get rid of some of the clutter he becomes panicky. He doesn't even want me to dispose of any of my "junk". I guess this I could live with but Karen how do I deal with stuff all over the cupboards, the dining room table, bathroom counter, dressers, etc,etc.? He doesn't seem to be comfortable until every flat surface is piled high. We have a four car garage and we can't even get a car in it. His idea of cleaning is to move things from one spot to another.
I know that he suffers from depression and I was amazed when I read that the two seem to go hand in hand. Help. What can I do to keep from loosing my sanity?
- B.K., USA
Karen's reply:
As I say in my book, clutter is not the root of the problem, it is a symptom of the problem. In this case it looks very much that your husband is using clutter as a way of dampening down his emotions to help him to cope with his depression. So the way forward is to persuade him to seek help for the cause of his depression, for his own sake and for the sake of your marriage. I'm not talking here, of course, about taking prescription drugs to further numb his feelings but some form of psychotherapy to deeply address the underlying issues and bring joy back to his life and yours.
You may be interested to know that in my own experience as a therapist I have found that depression is generally caused by a person becoming disconnected from their Higher Self and therefore going off-track from their spiritual path. It can also be caused by physical chemical imbalances. I suggest you read up on the topic - there are some very helpful books available these days.
I've just finished reading 'Clearing Your Clutter...' and absolutely loved it. In the book you mentioned that if you rent a room in a house, to apply the bagua to only my room and not the entire house, but later you do indicate that the clutter of the people I live with can affect me tremendously. My question is, how can Feng Shui and Clutter Clearing principles be effective for me in my bedroom if the rest of the house where I live isn't tackled as well?
By the way, I have been clutter clearing my room, and I feel much better for having done so.
- Brent Ross, USA
Karen's reply:
You've actually answered your own question! Clutter clearing your own room has benefits, whether the rest of the house you share is clutter cleared or not. Space Clearing (see the question above) can help even more. But eventually you will want to get a place of your own or find a more clutter clear houseshare to move to.
My husband and I have returned to the US with our toddler daughter after living in Ireland for two years. Until we are on our feet financially and can afford a mortgage, we are living with my parents in a very cluttered house.
My parents have always been pack rats and have accumulated a lot of clutter. My mother has read your book, Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui, and has started to clear some of the clutter, but there is still so much to be done. Could the clutter in my parent's house be affecting the relationship between my husband and me and our finances? Our communication has broken down and it has been six months and we still can not afford to move out on our own. I keep our personal spaces in the house clutter-free (bedroom, bathroom). Please advise! Thank you.
- Maureen, USA
Karen's reply:
I've received many letters like this over the years, all with the same despairing tone. The stagnant energy of your parent's cluttered home certainly will be having an affect on you. Even though you keep your own areas clutter-free, you are still sharing communal areas of the home.
However, I see a ray of hope. You say your mother has read my book and made a start on clearing her clutter. This shows that she is open to dealing with the problem and there are two ways that you can help.
Firstly, learn how to do Space Clearing, which is described briefly in Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui and in much more depth in my first book, Creating Sacred Space with Feng Shui (you will need to read this to learn how to do the ceremony effectively).
The two books are designed to be used together. Space Clearing loosens the stagnant energy that collects around clutter, which in turn loosens a person's attachments to it. This will help your mother to clutter clear more swiftly and will also help you and your husband to overcome the effect it has had on you. However you must have permission from one of your parents before you do this. It would be out of integrity to do it without their knowledge or against their wishes.
The second thing you can do is offer to help her with the clutter clearing. Get her to make a plan and help her carry it out, starting with small areas first. The Space Clearing is likely to change the energy of the home so much that your father may want to get involved too.
While all this is happening, create a Feng Shui enhancement in the Relationships area of your bedroom (see Part Five of Creating Sacred Space with Feng Shui) and be sure to get some quality time away from the house with your husband. Have days out together, take short walks together or whatever you both enjoy, and above all, communicate. I meet many couples on holiday in Bali and I take the opportunity of asking all the happiest ones the secret of a long-lasting marriage. Do you know what they all say? Communication. See a marriage guidance counsellor if necessary, but somehow get that communication happening.
I am hopeful that you can provide some guidance for an urgent and delicate situation. My life partner's 50 year old aunt suffered a brain aneurism at the wheel of her car over 6 months ago. She was unconscious and on feeding and breathing tubes for many weeks. Over time, she has been removed from the breathing apparatus, but she is still not conscious. She remains hospitalized in a special care unit. Doctors are puzzled, as her EEG and other diagnostics show no reason why she shouldn't be walking and talking by now.
Now, for the clutter. Aunt L. lives (or did, before she was hospitalized) in a house which is SO packed, that you would think an invisible force must be holding it all down. I've read your descriptive examples of cluttered space, and this exceeds anything you described. No where to sit, walk or even stand without replacing something that is already there. It is a small house, and there is no room or hall or stairway less cluttered than any other.
The Question: Is there a safe way to clear this house clutter, and fill the space with intentions and prayers of healing? I am fairly close to her only daughter, a young adult who lives on her own, but I do not know Aunt L's husband well. He continues to live alone at home, and to visit his wife regularly, praying that she will somehow pull through before her kidney's fail, etc. My partner is not committed and involved in space clearing as I am, she supports my work in our own home. I think she would support me in approaching her cousin and/or uncle with the possibility of clearing the home and filling it with healing intentions.
I believe this may be L's best hope for survival. I know that I shall have regrets if we lose her, and I didn't try to share the space clearing option with someone close to her. Thank you in advance for any suggestions you can make.
- RS
Karen's reply:
It is out of integrity to do Space Clearing or clutter clearing in a person's home without their permission. The only person who could do the Space Clearing with integrity is your partner's aunt's husband, because it is his home too, but even he would be out of integrity doing the clutter clearing while she is still alive. The information in my books is designed for people to clear their own homes or homes of close relatives, so my best advice to you is not to get involved at all.
For a new perspective on dying and death, read Death: The Great Journey, a Knowledge Track by Dr Samuel Sagan, which is available from www.clairvision.org. I rate is as the most insightful and helpful work I've ever read on this topic.
Do you have any suggestions for helping children release their clutter... overwhelming collections or outgrown items?
- M.W., Canada
Karen's reply:
Years ago when I worked as a professional rebirther, parents would sometimes ask if they could bring their problem children to me for some sessions in order to fix them. My response was always to tell them to leave the child at home and come for the sessions themselves. When the parents resolved their own stuff, the behaviour of the children invariably improved.
I have found the same to be the case when it comes to clearing clutter. Children emulate their care givers. Physical clutter is only one kind - there is also mental clutter and emotional clutter. The more you let go of your own 'stuff', the happier your children will be to let go of theirs!
I have been dating a very wonderful man for over a year, and we have decided to start living together. We are both very excited about having a beautiful, loving home together. The problem is that I am a very "out with the old and in with the new" individual, and I am very open with my personal space and love filling it with friends. He is a very private person with a lot of clutter who is VERY protective of his space. He also falls into the "collector" personality, fortunately, he only collects DVD's (which we use) and Home Theater Magazines. We will be moving to our new place in six weeks, and I am busy actively weeding out books, clothing, and clutter to make the move easier.
To get to the point, I am wondering if you could suggest ways for me to convince my significant other that he'll feel much better getting rid of his clutter. He will not give any weight to ideas that sound mystical or religious (he is an atheist and a skeptic) but I am hoping that he can see it as a practical, useful thing to do and that he will pick up a garbage can and get started! Sincere thanks,
- Lauren, U.S.A.
Karen's reply:
Firstly you need to assess whether your partner's DVD's and magazines are actually clutter - if he is using them, has regular clear-outs and they are kept tidy then they are not clutter unless there are just too many of them for the size of your new home. If you decide they truly are clutter, I very much encourage you to communicate with him about this issue BEFORE you move in together, and reach a decision that you can both wholeheartedly agree to. It is infinitely more difficult to do this after you are living together.
The reason is that the clutter itself is not the issue - it is only ever a symptom of a deeper underlying issue. The fact that you are the type of person to read my book and you feel your partner wouldn't give it credence already indicates that you have some harmonizing of life styles ahead of you. You both need to understand why he feels the need and you don't feel the need to keep 'stuff', and then you can both decide if you can happily live with those values or not.
Here's a tip that has worked for many people: The way to motivate a person to clear clutter is to educate and inspire. Leave my book in a place where your partner is bound to find it and will have time to peruse it. Be sure to put some bookmarks in the sections you want him to read and feel he will be able to relate to. The majority of my books are actually sold in mainstream bookshops and appeal to a much wider audience than you may suppose. Good luck!
It seems to me that I exaggerated a bit in following your advice about unwanted presents when throwing away a small clock, which I considered to be useless for me although it was a Christmas present from my father.
I never felt any joy for the clock and when I had been opening the Christmas parcel I felt really disappointed in receiving a stupid small - but quite valuable - clock. For the next years I put the clock on my shelf and I always remembered my disappointment when looking at it. So I thought it was the best idea to throw it away.
Since then I still feel really sorry (not guilty!!) and tears come into my eyes every time I remember that I threw this small useless clock away (while I don´t even remember all the other things I also threw away at this occasion).
Making up my mind why I still feel so sorry for having thrown the clock away, I remembered something I had completely forgotten before: I remembered that my Mum commented "This year, Dad really made an effort in selecting your Christmas presents." I think my Mum had noticed - or anticipated - my disappointment. It is a common fact within our family, that Dad is not too good in selecting Christmas presents, but it seems that he had been really trying to do his very best in this particular year.
Do you have an idea how I can 'undo' what I did to this small stupid clock? Shall I buy a new one to replace it? Is there any ceremony to let the universe know that I feel sorry, that I made a mistake and that I deeply regret it?
Your advice would be highly appreciated.
- Kind Regards, S., Switzerland
Karen's reply:
The thing to remember about gifts is that it is the thought that counts. The object itself is not important. Receive the love that came with the gift and then it doesn't matter if you keep the object or let it go.
The true issue here is not the clock at all but your relationship with your father. Tell him more often that you love him. That is a far better way of showing you appreciate him than by keeping a 'stupid, small clock' you don't even like, that reminded you every time you saw it of how disappointed you were when you opened it.
Also take a long look at yourself to see if you have a pattern of 'being disappointed by people', especially men. Resolve this issue (through doing rebirthing or vivation, for example). This will enable you to get to a much deeper level of why throwing this clock away has bugged you so much and will help you improve all your relationships into the bargain.
I need help. I've reread your book three times. I've done some decluttering, but it seems it just keeps coming back. I used to attend Clutterer's Anonymous with is a 12-step program like AA. As soon as I have cleaned my kitchen, it is totally messed up the very next day. My last relationship ended 18 months ago and we fought daily about my clutter and when I cleaned house, it was "not good enough" for him.
I only work part-time at the moment and thought about hiring someone but my funds are limited. Depression gets in my way of accomplishing more - it seems as if it is just a vicious cycle of depression, clutter. My friends have just dropped off, one by one with no explanation. They just don't call me back any more.
What would you recommend for such a hard case as me. I've held onto things most of my life. I would accept anything little tidbit you may have. With much love and appreciation,
- M.B., USA
Karen's reply:
If you've read my book three times and still have not been able to sustain clutter clearing then you need to do deeper personal work to get to the cause of your messiness, which I would say is also the cause of your depression. There is no magic wand I can wave to make everything magically all right but I can assure you that life doesn't have to be this way.
The most important thing for you to discover is the emotional imprints that are causing your behaviour, and the best way I know of doing this is through ISIS or rebirthing. There is more information about this in the question above entitled 'Emotions Surfacing When Clearing Clutter'.
Clearing emotional imprints allows you to connect more and more to your Higher Self, which is the real 'you'. Depression is always a sign of disconnection from Higher Self. You can also read my book, Creating Sacred Space with Fen Shui, and learn how to space clear your home, which will raise the level of energy in your home and also remove the stagnant energy that collects around clutter, making it much easier to clear.
I received Creating Sacred Space with Feng Shui for Christmas and read it right away and, like so many of your readers, was excited and energized instantly, it all made such good sense. I started at our weekend home, cleaning out and cleaning the kitchen which was one of many rooms in need of a good cleaning. It felt great and we also dumped a lot of old appliances, pasta makers, ice cream makers, etc, that had sat in the attic for years. When we returned to New York I started with my desk, clearing drawers of papers and labels and old calculators.
While part of it has felt very good - I've known for a long time that it was crazy keeping a lot of this stuff - I notice now that I am full of some kind of grief over many of these things that I have tossed, many I had even forgotten that I had in the first place and some I even now have forgotten what they were that were thrown away. There's just a shallow, dull ache. There is much left to address and clear and toss and I intend to. As of now, a week later, there have been no small 'miracles' that have appeared yet, though I find I continue to be hopeful about 2002. Is this grieving something you are familiar with? Any thoughts on processing and coping with it?
- R.B, USA
Karen's reply:
My response to this type of reaction is always to tell the person to go back and re-read my book to reconnect with the original spark that inspired them to clutter clear. As you have only read the short chapter in my first book about this topic, I definitely recommend you read my second book, Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui, which goes into much more detail about the emotional side of dealing with clutter.
Following on from this, it's necessary to realize that clutter clearing is the process of clearing a space for something new to happen and you have to do the work to determine what that will be. The dull ache you describe is indicative of spiritual emptiness. The Space Clearing ceremony shows you how to consecrate your home to higher frequencies and can help get you spiritually reconnected. You'll find other recommended books and suggestions on the Links page of this website.
After a friend recommended your book, Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui, I read it cover to cover and dug in. I haven't de-cluttered, EVER!!!!
I read your book over the Xmas holiday and started actually cleaning Jan.1, seemed like a great new year start. YIKES! It is now Jan.8 and I haven't stopped. Now, I'm not going very fast which surprises me since I'm usually a very speedy person. But I feel like my feet are in cement, and I'm completely overwhelmed all the time. I have trouble sleeping and more importantly, and the reason for this email, is the discontent and sadness I feel all the time. I'm a bear to my husband and am finding all kinds of past issues rising to the surface I thought I'd cleared! Everything seems to be crumbling from under me. I'm questioning my path in life and it's meaning, etc. etc.
I loved your book and the directions in it but feel very lost and almost hopeless as to what to do with these emotions. Not much of this is addressed in your book. Is this common? Will it pass (I sure hope soon). What to do while in it? Thanks for your help!
- K.W., USA
Karen's reply:
The degree of discontent and sadness you are describing is indicative of how far off track your life has gone. Clearing the clutter is allowing you to see and feel this at last.
It sounds to me as if you are at major turning point - the kind you will look back on in years to come and say, "And to think all this started from the time when I started clearing my clutter!" I've been through this intense process twice in my life and it was tough at the time but I've never regretted it. I came to realize that the pain I experienced was directly proportional to my refusal to let go and move on. The changes I made have led me to a life of happiness I never dreamt possible.
So rather than offering you a quick fix I'm going to wholeheartedly encourage you to continue, and can suggest the following things to help you on your path:
1) Do the Space Clearing ceremony described in my first book, Creating Sacred Space with Feng Shui, to clear out all the stuck energy that is embedded in your clutter. This will help you move through the emotions more quickly. (Note: There is a very brief description of the ceremony at the back of Clear Your Clutter but this is not enough for you to do the ceremony safely and effectively.)
2) Find a good astrologer and have your transits done to discover the bigger picture of what's happening for you at the moment. This will give you some direction and some sanity while it's all happening. If you need a recommendation, one of the best astrologers I know is Richard Norris, who is based in London (email: richardn40@hotmail.com, Tel: +44 (0)207 461 9177). He'll record your consultation on tape and mail it to you if you're not able to visit in person.
3) Understand that your emotional reactions are caused by activation of samskaras in your astral body. Read Regression: Past Life Therapy for Here and Now Freedom by Dr Samuel Sagan (available from www.clairvision.org) for the most lucid explanation I have ever read about how this works and, most importantly, what to to do about it. Click here for more information about the Clairvision School.
I have just read Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui in Danish and I have some questions that I hope you can answer:
1) You say: If you find a new partner - move to a new place. But if it is not possible?
2) If you have been married before and you still have some furniture from that marriage because you like them, then you meet a new partner and he also likes the furniture, is it possible to clean the furniture or give it some kind of blessing so that it can be accepted in the new marriage ?
- Best regards, Anne Schmidt, Denmark
Karen's reply:
1) To give a new relationship the best chance it is always best to move to a new place that neither of you have lived before. If this is not possible then the next best thing is to space clear your home. You can find full information about Space Clearing in my first book, Creating Sacred Space with Feng Shui, which has been translated into many languages, including Danish.
Note: The very short description of Space Clearing at the back of my Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui book does not contain enough information for you to do effective Space Clearing.
2) Space Clearing will also clear the energy of the furniture you have from a previous marriage. However, I explain in Chapter 15 of Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui (entiled 'Clutter and Feng Shui Symbology') that this will only work if you have no negative associations with the objects as a result of the previous relationship.
I just purchased your book, Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui, and was intrigued by your comment that "a home that is too tidy, where everything is 'just so,' is energetically sterile and can be as much of a problem as a place that is a complete dump." Could you expand on what energetically sterile means and why it's a problem?
My husband and I are both quite neat. I wouldn't say "pristine" (although we are neat, there IS dust) but we always know where everything is, we put things away when we're done using them, we don't have much clutter (nothing piled up in any room or on our desks, etc.), we rarely keep things we don't need (we don't even have an attic or a basement), and we're both very organized (not just spatially, at home, but at work and in our day-to-day lives).
I don't want nor look forward to becoming disorganized or messy (especially once we have children!) but your comment about being too neat made me wonder and since you don't address it anywhere else in your book I thought I'd ask you here.
- I.F, USA
Karen's reply:
I'll explain this in the following way:
In Bali they call the even numbers (2, 4, 6, 8 and so on) dead numbers, and the odd numbers (1, 3, 5, 7, 9 and so on) are alive numbers. The reason is that the even numbers are in balance so nothing can happen. They also never build perfectly square rooms or buildings for the same reason. Persian weavers evoke similar wisdom when creating their magnificent carpets - they always make a deliberate mistake so that the carpet is not perfect.
A home where everything is 'just so' is too balanced and therefore does not provide an anchor for spiritual or personal growth or creativity. Conversely, a home where everything is untidy or disorganized does not nurture the occupants either. As always, my message is about finding the right balance between the two.
In Creating Sacred Space with Feng Shui you write, "Twice in my life I have got rid of everything I owned and started again."
This is what I want to do. I am very ready to do this, after years of thought, and the prospect is not scary for me. The things I own make me feel heavy, weigh me down, I feel I am not free to move where I need to and do what is healthy for me. Simplicity is increasingly important for both myself and my girlfriend - we are both at turning points, we need to transform our lives, and we wish to move elsewhere and live very simply together (fortunately my girlfriend has very little property). Do you have any recommendations for me as I consider how to get rid of all my stuff?
- G.F, United Kingdom
Karen's reply:
The first time I did this I (amicably) left my boyfriend and left all my stuff for him to use or dispose of as he would. The second time I had a whole house full of things. I sold all the big stuff to a property developer friend and sold the rest at a car boot sale. In both cases, the whole thing was accomplished within a week of deciding to do it, and I have never regretted either decluttering.
However this radical action is not for everyone. In both cases I also had a very clear idea of the next important step to take in my spiritual journey after I had lightened my load, and so disposing of everything was effortless. The fact that you have written to ask how to do this suggests to me that you may not have this clarity and therefore may not accomplish much by taking such action. The art to twenty first century spiritual life is to have the right amount of things around you so that you can accomplish what you need to do but not so much that they hold you back from doing that. Too little or too much can hamper you - you just need the right balance.
In Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui you mentioned that you used a special technique for your photograph. Can you explain what you did and how you did it?
- Susan Harrow, USA
Karen's reply:
A lot of people have written to ask me about this! The trick lies in what you are thinking and feeling as the photograph is being taken, and even more importantly, what you are connecting to on a higher level. If the photo is for publicity purposes it is also useful to decide how many people you want to connect with and what type of people they are - then put out that energy at the moment the photo is taken. It is helpful if you have a photographer who knows their art but the quality of result they can get will depend on your own ability to project through the camera to the world.
I am looking for more help on how to keep my desk and my paper work orderly and current. In searching for Declan Treacy's book Clear Your Desk. I find it available only at prices starting at almost $100. Any ideas?
~ Thanks, A.H.
Karen's reply:
Checked www.amazon.co.uk today (25 March 2005) and you can get a copy there starting from just £2.00, so it would be worth paying the extra for the shipping to the USA.
The wealth area of the bagua is situated over my daughter's room. Keeping it tidy and uncluttered is a BIG problem. She is a preteen. Of course my financial stability could be better. Any suggestions?
- Christine Graziano, USA
Karen's reply:
The marvellous thing about the bagua is that there are so many ways you can work with it. First there is the bagua of the plot of land your home is on; then there is the bagua of the home itself; and there is also the bagua of each room in the home. So, in your case, simply work to enhance the wealth areas of the plot of land and the individual rooms in the home, especially the family rooms that are used the most. You'll find many suggestions for how to do this in Part Five of my book, Creating Sacred Space with Feng Shui.
I've never written to Ann Landers, a celebrity, let alone an author about anything in my life, so I find this a bit awkward trying to communicate to a stranger. But given that I "bought into" your book Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui, I want to share where I've ended up and request your comments.
First some background. In 1998 I vowed to simplify my life and rid myself of over 10 years of family stuff, toys, old obsolete college books, etc. I unloaded 3+ minivans full of stuff. Thank God, because in July of 1998 we suddenly moved to a new city and into a smaller house. I went to work and again downsized. I bought your book in early 2000 - and gained much speed. I can say that I have gone through 80% of my stuff, or common family stuff. My children (11 & 8) can now go to their room and pick out 5 things that they are done with and place it on my bed without supervision or argument and they often accompany me on the weekly trip to charity/recycle drop off locations.
This all sounds good and yes, I see much benefit to my family. However, I am left feeling angry, bitter, and resentful - mostly towards my husband. First, I kept on waiting for a breakthrough from all this heavy, dirty, and time consuming work. I cleaned out a basement-my husband got an unexpected raise. I tackled a library full of books -- my husband got asked to be on a civic board. I spend hours per week hauling trash -- and my husband thanks me and says what a wonderful job I'm doing, but won't make the time to help. Yes, I've asked, but of course Boy Scout, etc., is far more important. I've taken your advise and not touched his personal stuff, hoping that he would take responsibility for it. All the while I feel I have not gotten any direct personal benefit: such as a career opening, wonderful new friends, or just joy.
I have not shared him with these feeling as of yet, because frankly, I am so perplexed with these negative feelings towards him (we've been married 17 years -- and I really do adore him). This is not how I expected to feel after all the positive testimonials that you site. But somehow, somewhere in this space clearing I have picked up an emotional fungus that has to be handled before I go on.
You have my permission to share this story - although I doubt you will. Mostly I wanted your comments about these very unexpected results.
Thanks, Margaret, USA
Karen's reply:
In my books you will find that I explain that the clutter itself is not the problem - it is the emotional issues that are buried in the clutter that create the stagnant, unwholesome energies around it. By clearing it you are regenerating the energy in your home but are also having to face marital issues you have avoided for years. These issues were always there and would have surfaced sooner or later in the form of health problems (long-standing resentment is one of the primary causes of cancer), power struggles, relationship difficulties, or some other way. The clutte
What is Space Clearing?
